It has been a rough week for Parker at school and I have been stressed beyond normal. Which is giving me many sleepless nights of worry and a cold. Not a good combo. Last night I woke up around 2 AM because of my cold and then lay awake crying and worrying about Parker. It's rough watching your kid struggle and feel insecure. Finally an hour later and I was still awake. So I decided to get up and check facebook and my e-mail, figuring I might as well be doing something productive. Boy was I devasted when I begun reading this.............
Dear Family,
Bart and I wanted to update you on Brittney's condition. The last month has been a very difficult one for her and she has lost a lot of weight and as her oncologist says she has "no reserve". We found out a couple of weeks ago that a large tumor mass has grown in her abdominal area. She hadn't done a round of chemo since the first week of July so we opted to try one more, which she began on Saturday. Because of her frail condition the chemo was too toxic for her and yesterday she experienced serious neurological side effects. In fact, it was a frightening day. She was unable to talk with us although we found out she could hear and understand what we were saying. After talking with her oncologist and with each other, Steven, his mom, Bart, and I agreed that it was time to take her off of treatments and try to make her comfortable. She is now in the care of hospice. We are very happy with the two nurses we have met and feel confident that she will be well taken care of.
As you can imagine, yesterday was an extremely difficult day for our family. Today Brittney was much better and able to comprehend and talk with us. We are so very thankful for this tender mercy! Although we have known what was at the end of the road for a long time, we hadn't been able to see the end; but now it is getting closer. We are praying for another miracle, as we are well aware of and grateful for the many miracles in Brittney's behalf. We are hoping that she can rally once more. As her Dr. said, she's surprised us before so something miiraculous could happen again.
We appreciate your prayers in behalf of Brittney, Steven, and their children, as well as for us and the rest of our family. Please keep Collin in your prayers as well as Brittney at this time. His mission president will be giving him an update on Brittney tomorrow.
Thanks for your love and support. We want you all to know how much we truly love and appreciate each of you.
Love,
Bart and Renae
After reading this I lay in bed sobbing. My cousin, Brittany, is 29 years old with 3 young children; Harmony(7), Brynn(5), and Boston(2). She has been battling osteo sarcoma cancer for 5 1/2 years now. She was diagnosed shortly after she gave birth to her second child Brynn, who was born weeks apart from Parker. Finally after a couple of years of surgery and chemo she was cancer free. What a blessing! She then got pregnant with Boston, who was born a couple of months after Mitchell. Shortly after giving birth to him, the cancer came back. Ever since she has been battling it. About a year ago they went in to remove the cancer that had spread into her lungs, never a good sign. When they got in there they found that there was more cancer than they thought and in order to remove it all they would have to take out both of her lungs. So they took out as much as they could, leaving her with one lung and cancer still in her. At this point they told her her cancer was terminal and there was not a lot more they could do. She was still bound and determined not to give up though. But at that point I knew she was going to die of this ugly disease. Last time I saw her was at Erin's baby shower in June. She looked so frail and had lost a lot of weight.
After reading this email I couldn't stop thinking about the pain and trial she has had to go through. Paralleling my life to hers, we went through two pregnancies together and have had such different experiences as moms. I couldn't help but feel like she had been cheated, not being able to have the same mothering experiences that I have. She has been sick with cancer with both of her babies and couldn't even pick them up because she was so sick. And now the thought of having to leave them in death has to be unbearable for her. All through sacrament meeting today I was holding back the tears. It was fast and testimony meeting and I felt the spirit so strong. It testified to me that this life is not the end. And I couldn't help but feel overwhelming gratitude for my two boys and the opportunity I have had to be a mother. The Savior is there for us if we allow him into our lives. That is the only way to make it through the trials we will experience while we are here on this earth. The gospel is true and of this I am truly grateful!
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